


A Misanthrope's Guide to the Care and Maintenance of Interpersonal Relationships

by TimConwaysElephantStory



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: But I mean light ones, Gen, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 09:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10303151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimConwaysElephantStory/pseuds/TimConwaysElephantStory
Summary: Step One: Make a friend





	

**Step One:** Make a friend.

**Step Two:** Solve a cold case with said friend, exchange stilted goodbyes, promptly leave town and return home.

**Step Three:** After a couple of weeks, start to wonder how people manage to keep in touch without crime forcing them to spend time together. Continue to ponder this on and off for a further few months without acting on it in any way, shape or form.

**Step Four:** About half a year after Step Two, fish out your friend’s contact details and consider calling. Don’t call.

**Step Five:** Decide texting will be easier due to heightened ability to plan relative to calling. Get as far as “Miller, ” before deciding that texting is stupid.

**Step Six:** Consider e-mail. Get intimidated by the sheer volume of white space that needs filling and end up saving empty draft.

**Step Seven:** Realise that it’s getting close to a year since you left town and wonder whether you’ve now left it too long for any communication not to be hideously awkward. Try to ask your daughter on the sly. Receive confused look in response.

**Step Eight:** Misplace phone. Feel relieved.

**Step Nine:** Even though you still can’t stand the place you left, acknowledge the fact that there are aspects of it you miss just a little. Go so far as to consider that maybe, completely without your permission, it managed to become something resembling home. Realise that the only good part about your current home is that your daughter is there. Be content that for that reason it’s worth putting up with pretty much anything.

**Step Ten:** Let dissatisfaction with new life fester quietly for a while longer. Do nothing.

**Step Eleven:** See co-worker arriving to work in hideous orange coat. Feel uncharacteristically wistful. Realise you have no friends here. Fail to be surprised that, actually, you can barely remember anyone’s name.

**Step Twelve:** Reach two-year anniversary of leaving ~~old town~~ ~~home~~ Broadchurch.

**Step Thirteen:** Decide that tension between your daughter and ex-wife is making all three of you miserable. Suggest they spend some time apart. Suggest Broadchurch.

**Step Fourteen:** See that old DI job is again vacant. Continue not to believe in kismet.

**Step Fifteen:** Return ~~to Broadchurch~~ home.

**Step Sixteen:** Say nothing to anyone before showing up to work on Monday. Get punched in the arm for your trouble. Threaten recrimination. Be laughed at.

**Step Seventeen:** Go back to solving crimes with friend. Finally feel content.

**Author's Note:**

> Partly based on experience. I'm sure there are other people out there who 100% understand being no good at keeping in touch.
> 
> Btw, this is totally readable as Hardy/Miller if you're that way inclined.


End file.
